How do we, as women, learn to respect our biology and not seek to be more 'male'?
Following on from my last post, where I investigated the reality behind male and female traits, I want to take this on a step further and talk about why so many women seem to adopt behaviours largely seen as ‘male’ and use them in the workplace. Don’t get me wrong - in my early days in sales I was as guilty as the next woman in taking on, or faking, behaviours to fit in with my (all male) team, to impress the bosses and maintain my progression. But it was exhausting. To be completely honest, I didn’t even know that this was what I was doing. It’s only in hindsight I realise how far I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and how relentlessly tiring this was. I’m pretty sure this is one of the reasons I just walked away, in the end - I wanted to run my own business and do it my way, with my personality and my own personal ethos around behaviour.
To be a success at work though, in a male dominated corporate environment (male dominated in the higher echelons, that is, as so many women just say “sod it, I’m not doing this any more”) do women really need to adopt traditionally “male traits” such as dominance, emotional restraint, and competitiveness in order to succeed?
How can women respect their biology without feeling pressured to perform “masculinity” to be taken seriously?
First, as my last blog makes clear, there is no scientific list of fixed male traits or female traits. Psychology shows that qualities such as assertiveness, empathy, ambition, collaboration, risk-taking, and emotional intelligence exist on human spectrums. Hormones may influence behavioural tendencies, but they do not assign personality traits by sex.
So the issue is not about becoming less female or more male. It is about understanding how workplace cultures have historically rewarded certain behaviours that were socially coded as masculine.
Why women feel pressure to display “male” traits
Many professional environments still reward visibility, decisiveness, competitiveness, and dominance. These qualities are often associated with leadership. Women who want career progression may feel they must mirror these behaviours to be perceived as competent.
This pressure is not about biology. It is about incentives.
When organisations equate leadership with loudness or authority with emotional detachment, women may conclude that success requires behavioural adaptation. In some cases, this adaptation works. In my own experience women who lean into this behavioural adaptation, never once showing an ounce of the ‘female traits’ rise up the ranks. It does carry risks, though.
The risks of displaying traditionally male traits
Apart from feeling worn out at the end of every day, keeping up with ‘the boys’ carries risks that aren’t biological, but social.
Research on workplace bias shows that women who display high levels of assertiveness or dominance can experience what is known as a “competence-likability” trade-off. The same behaviour that earns a man respect may earn a woman criticism for being abrasive or unapproachable. Terms such as “bitch” and “witch” are bandied about, abuse and disrespect not once offered to men behaving the same way.
Other potential risks include:
Burnout from sustained performance that feels inauthentic (that exhaustion again)
Increased scrutiny compared to male peers
Social isolation within teams
Internal conflict between professional identity and personal values
It’s that last one I realise now that drove me out of corporate life.
It is not that assertiveness or ambition are wrong. They are valuable human traits. The risk lies in environments that judge the same behaviour differently depending on who displays it.
Respecting female biology without limiting yourself
Respecting biology does not mean leaning into stereotypes about softness or nurturing just as it doesn’t mean leaning into the stereotypes of male behaviours discussed above. It means recognising that hormonal cycles, stress responses and energy patterns can influence mood, focus, and recovery needs.
For example:
Energy and confidence may fluctuate across menstrual cycles
Stress responses can vary depending on hormonal state
Rest and recovery may require intentional planning
Honouring these realities can improve performance rather than diminish it. High performance is not about constant intensity. It is about strategic output and sustainable energy management. Pay close attention to how your menstrual cycle affects your moods and focus and plan accordingly. Maybe leading a new project meeting the day before your period is due isn’t the wisest move. Maybe agreeing to meet a new client when in the throes of period pain isn’t the best plan. Whether you choose to come out and say it or not, recognising when you can and when you can’t will help you manage your input and time.
Personally, I wish we could all find the strength to just say it to all the men around us, and maybe as younger generations come through, that will change…
At the same time, respecting biology does not require rejecting ambition, authority, or competitiveness. These are human capacities, not male property.
Redefining strength in the workplace
Let’s widen the definition of competence and leadership. By leaning in to our natural strengths and not simply mirroring the behaviours of our male counterparts or managers, we can redefine what strength and capability looks like:
Decisiveness paired with empathy
Authority expressed through calm clarity rather than volume
Ambition aligned with collaboration
Confidence grounded in preparation rather than dominance
When women integrate a full behavioural range rather than overcorrecting toward one extreme, they operate from authenticity rather than imitation - and it’s powerful.
Start modelling these behaviours and see what happens. Collaborations are sought after, projects move forward, relationships build and success follows - and, at last, the relief of not having to fake it every day.